Helping Women Build their Faith and Relationship with God

The Wife

The woman was made to be a helpmeet to her husband, meaning she’s his assistance, she is his succor, indicating she is to help him in times of need or distress. The woman is the first one to teach a man; when a male child is born, it is the woman that trains him to be a respectful young man. She’s the one that expresses what true love is. The woman is the one that potty trains, she’s the one that teaches him about hygiene, she’s the one that teaches him how to coordinate colors. She teaches him how to cook and clean, and what to look for when finding a wife. She should also be the one to teach him how to treat his wife accompanied the husband’s teaching as well. A woman is to be loved and respected. She’s to be protected and provided for by her husband. It’s not the wife’s responsibility to take care of her husband unless he has become ill and can’t work, otherwise, he should be hitting the time clock. Some women are fortunate to marry someone that provides enough income that she doesn’t have to work, so she can be a homemaker. It doesn’t make a man less than a man if the wife has to work. Whether she’s a homemaker or employed a woman has a role to play as a friend, lover and wife.

A woman should respect her husband as head of the household. When a woman tries to play the roles of the husband and wife this brings confusion into the home as well as the marriage and it’s rejecting the instructions of the Bible and disrespecting her husband (For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body – Ephesians 5:23). This doesn’t mean the wife is to be a servant or has no say in what goes on in the relationship or their home. Just as Jesus is the divinely appointed head or authority over His church, it’s the same way the husband is the divinely appointed “head” or authority of his wife.

Just as Jesus is our Savior or protector of the body, the husband is responsible to provide, protect and the welfare of his wife. He’s also responsible for providing spiritual leadership. When a woman disrespects her husband, she’s disrespecting the office given to him by God for his wife and home, and this will also cause resentment from the husband and it manifests in different ways. We can’t submit to a portion of God’s word and dismiss the other. God has principals for the husband and wife to follow, and when we don’t, we will not have the protection from God for our marriage because we have rejected the principals and instructions of God’s written word for marriage.

Marriage was ordained by God in the Garden of Eden, it was one man to one woman, that’s the way God created it. Marriage was to be for a lifetime except for adultery. God allows divorce as a concession to people’s sinfulness. Divorce was not approved, but it was instituted to protect the injured party in the midst of a bad situation. Many have divorced because of adultery and missed the blessing God would have given them if they would have trusted God for their marriage and not what they were seeing in their marriage.

Satan tries to influence the abandon one to think, if the husband is committing adultery, it’s okay for them to go outside the marriage too. Two wrongs don’t make a right, rather than allowing God to get in the marriage some have allowed Satan to come in and brought division and divorce. Satan knows, marriage was instituted by God, and whenever he can get one to sin against the word of God, he will bring it to the marriage. Yes, it hurts when one finds out their spouse has been unfaithful, but just as the Father forgave us, and reconciled with us, we should do our marriage the same way. With God’s help, an adulterous marriage can be reconciled and healed.

We should never blame God for what’s in or is happening in our marriage, God doesn’t make anyone do something against their will. We can’t go in denial, adultery has to be confronted, it can’t be assumed, but is known for a fact and if the husband confesses what they have done, then it’s left up to the wife to forgive (For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses – Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiving them doesn’t mean you’re condoning their sin, but you have forgiven them and once you have forgiven them, don’t bring it up every time there is a disagreement, avoid bringing it up period.

Just as God doesn’t remind you of your sins, do likewise with your husband. Sometimes a wife needs another woman to help her walk through the emotional hurt; when needed, find a godly woman, one that you can confide in, one that will pray and fast with you for your marriage and the emotional hurt. A marriage can be reconciled and healed when we place our trust in God, forgive and allow God to deal with your husband. Don’t allow Satan to continue to play the hurt in your mind and heart, pray and ask God for emotional healing, ask God to help you to forgive your husband from the heart, and not just saying it with your mouth.

If it’s said with the mouth and not the heart, the subject will always be brought up, resentment and hurt will plaque your heart and mind. When hurt comes, this is not the time to stop praying, but that’s when to stay prayerful and fast, to keep your body and emotions in line with the word of God. If you’re willing to fight for your marriage which comes through prayer, fasting, speaking life into your marriage, then God will fight with you for your marriage. Don’t give up, trust God!

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